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Writer's Block: A rose by any other name  
03:38pm 07/06/2010
 
 
ankh_cloverbat
Do you like your birth name? If you had the opportunity to change it, would you? What new name would you choose?

now this is Mykind of question.. of course id change my name...

i dont know, maybe pamela or anne or Aline... but not mine..

i'd even live with two names
 
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annoyed  
02:37pm 04/06/2010
 
 
ankh_cloverbat
it just happens that somebody i used to date more than 5 years ago just decided to go and tell some office buddies of him  some stuff about my sex drive which not only are not true, but are quite offensive.
In top of that these two totally untactful guys came and asked one of my best friends if those infamous things were actually true..

When my boyfriend knows about this calls the big mouthed bastard to his cellphone to tell him to stop the crap and the rat tells him he'll sue my boy if he "threatens" him again...

this little rat i'm talking about has more than three legal processes waiting for him on the door... including sex with little a nine year old and trying to make out with a  17 year old  telling him he'll give him a job if he consents. I also have proof that he has forfeit documents, like the military service chart. 

This guy really has issues..  and keeps telling everybody I'm going to return to him, and constantly calls me to ask ludicrous questions... in his online profiles and journals he uses MY last name and photos taken in my room so people thinks im still with him and cheating on him...

I'm looking for people who has been deceived by this guy too, so if interested comment here for more info.
location: Mexico, Mexico
mood: angryangry
 
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narcissism  
08:26pm 13/05/2010
 
 
ankh_cloverbat
 well.. recently I've been studying narcissism at school, and I've discovered some interesting shit.

First of all,  people that suffers from this personality disorder is in desperate need of other's attention and approval. They will not attention-whore, because they wouldn't expose themselves to be criticized, but the true is that the only cure is to help them build themselves a steady self- image.

Suffering from this is not only about overcompensating the needs or being a pathological liar, is being unable to admit you don't have/know what is needed to be succesful at something; whatever it may be. is feeling like you'll die if you are not told you are worthy of something every once on a while.

It's not very easy to explain this, but i'll do my best.

one's Self is formed by two poles, one that comes from what parents teach us and give us, like soothing a wound or a sheet whe we are cold, etc.
the other is formed when we learn to do something and receive reactions about it, like when mommy puts a drawing in the fridge door.
both of these  evolve at the same time in our early years of life.
when one of these parts is damaged, you get a narcissistic personality disorder.

if the part that is wrong is the first one, it's because the child received too much frustration or saturation of its needs, like hunger, loneliness or care, and generates the need to have someone to depend on, and will make a  demanding but  at the same time dependant individual who will be unable to solve its own problems and recognize self-achievements.

If the second part is damaged due to a lack of approval reactions of early achievements, the resulting individual will be unable to have realistic goals, and will try to be recognized by any means. trying to fulfill these titanic goals can turn the person into a pathological lier. this is not a delirious behavior, it's only the result of the approval demands the self has. 
this second pole is the responsible of feeling empty even when being successful, because it relies on the other's reactions and opinions on our life, and specially parent's expectations.
the only cure for this disorder is to stay around, be emphatic and give the person this recognition.

so next time you are next to a person that acts selfishly, think  that one of these two parts may be wrong, and try to be emphatical
 
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Writer's Block: Pet central  
12:24am 04/05/2010
 
 
ankh_cloverbat
Some animal rights activists are fighting to replace the term 'owner' with 'guardian' to convey a more balanced relationship between a person and her or his pet. Do you agree or disagree with the importance of this mission?


well... although it is true that the term  guardian indicates a more close and fair relationship between person and pet, the truth is that most of us bought our animal companion... like an object.. even the term pet refers to a disbalanced relationship in which one of the members is superior.. either the animal or the person.

I think what matters is not how we call them, but how we treat them...

we can call anyone a decent way and still treat him/ her unfairly.. so, let the actions do the talking.
 
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Writer's Block: Defining moment  
01:27am 20/04/2010
 
 
ankh_cloverbat
Is there a particular moment or event in your life that you reflect on most? Why was it so important, and how did it shape you?

well i had this friend when i started the university... Were were both gothic and used to go have a beer in the afternoon, specially when we finished school earlier. Then in my birthday i told her that she and her boyfriend were invited to have some drinks in a gay bar ( I had a transexual partner at the time) and after that day she began telling everybody in the classroom that I was stalking her, and i was a heavy drinker that mixed medications with alcohol ( in the psychology school that's some heavy shit to say) and took her by force to the gay zone of the city.

Vacations came and when we returned she had already banned me from her friend list in every possible way, but was still saying all this annoying stuff, so people in the classroom began avoiding me too. Another term passed, me still trying to understand what was with her, but  at the beginning of the third term she broke the limits during a practice clkass about alcoholism, in wich she repeated all the medication stuff, so i really got angry and decided to go and ask her to stop, and received a big slap and she tried to run me over with her car....

When I go to school and report her, the principal (who i will rant later about) tells me i deserved it.

SO... 
I had a lot of therapies, and talkes with lotsa people about this, but i still feel as betrayed and alone as ever... since that event i just don't trust people easily, and even the guy i am with, i had to spend a year knowing him  and hanging out to believe that he wouldn't hurt me, and still he does stuff that I really have a hard time trying to understand... I'd say the importance of this event lays on the impact it had in my life,  because it's something that I can define a Before  and after in my life.


And speaking of the devil.. I fucking had to go and see her in the muse Gig..(how is it  horrid people can cave such good tastes???)... And I had so much of a desire to break her silly little face... see her bleed... see her suffer as i have for years... geeze, at least go and tell her she owes me almost a million pesos of therapy services for her stupid little reaction when we were at same class... WHY am I so coward? I could have beaten her....at least make her have a bad time while I had a better time. (beating her while stockholm syndrome would have been supreme)
mood: gloomygloomy
 
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