well.. recently I've been studying narcissism at school, and I've discovered some interesting shit.
First of all, people that suffers from this personality disorder is in desperate need of other's attention and approval. They will not attention-whore, because they wouldn't expose themselves to be criticized, but the true is that the only cure is to help them build themselves a steady self- image.
Suffering from this is not only about overcompensating the needs or being a pathological liar, is being unable to admit you don't have/know what is needed to be succesful at something; whatever it may be. is feeling like you'll die if you are not told you are worthy of something every once on a while.
It's not very easy to explain this, but i'll do my best.
one's Self is formed by two poles, one that comes from what parents teach us and give us, like soothing a wound or a sheet whe we are cold, etc.
the other is formed when we learn to do something and receive reactions about it, like when mommy puts a drawing in the fridge door.
both of these evolve at the same time in our early years of life.
when one of these parts is damaged, you get a narcissistic personality disorder.
if the part that is wrong is the first one, it's because the child received too much frustration or saturation of its needs, like hunger, loneliness or care, and generates the need to have someone to depend on, and will make a demanding but at the same time dependant individual who will be unable to solve its own problems and recognize self-achievements.
If the second part is damaged due to a lack of approval reactions of early achievements, the resulting individual will be unable to have realistic goals, and will try to be recognized by any means. trying to fulfill these titanic goals can turn the person into a pathological lier. this is not a delirious behavior, it's only the result of the approval demands the self has.
this second pole is the responsible of feeling empty even when being successful, because it relies on the other's reactions and opinions on our life, and specially parent's expectations.
the only cure for this disorder is to stay around, be emphatic and give the person this recognition.
so next time you are next to a person that acts selfishly, think that one of these two parts may be wrong, and try to be emphatical